The one thing I have problems with in life is trust. I know why but it’s just causing me to get annoyed nearly every day now. I want to trust people, I just can’t. I keep telling myself it will pass but it just won’t. Let’s take today for example, I trust somebody and then they do the exact opposite to what I ask. It wasn’t hard, I asked for them to be there for me when I believe I wouldn’t want anybody else. Where were they? I have no idea, so why should I trust anybody?
It really is annoying me as somebody has come into my life who I want to trust so much. Yes, I’m paranoid but how can I trust them when I’m so messed up myself? The point I’m trying to make is maybe I’m meant to be on my own for a while. Everything I’ve tried has failed and it doesn’t seem to be changing anytime soon. Life eh?
Somebody said to me the other day “you laugh at everything”. This isn’t a surprise to me because I do. Just all I could think was, isn’t that my sign shouting for help?! I laugh at everything because I actually am so numb inside that laughing is the only thing that makes anything feel better. I wish somebody would listen or should I accept that nobody wants to listen?