I have mixed feelings about EVERYTHING at the moment. It might be that I just haven’t slept for two days and that I’m very ill but I can’t think straight. I’m all over the place. A lot has happened since I last blogged, too much for me to explain, mainly because I have accepted any of it.
The main question I’m asking myself is, why did I open my mouth and say anything? It just seems to be ‘blurghhhhhh’. Even though it doesn’t sound like it, I am very happy at the moment. Part of me does wonder if I care about people more than they care about me. I don’t know if I entirely believe this but events recently between many different people keeps bringing this thought back.
Anybody that knows me, knows that when I first meet somebody I have massive trusts issues and won’t open up to anybody. All I keep thinking is that I’m closing up even more and won’t let people in, I really don’t want this to happen.